That thing is a two door. You could land a fighter jet on the hood or trunk. I’m not even sure if it makes sense to drive it on short trips because the distance between the front and rear bumpers is probably the same distance between wherever you’re coming and going.

Aside from the absurd length, the big news with this, the cheapest Caddy of the time, was that it had cornering lights, one of the most under-appreciated lights of the modern era. They’re like what superheroes would be if side marker lamps were society. According to the internet (which is never wrong) this beauty was 222″ long. That’s absolutely ridiculous. It’s 40 inches longer than my sedan. No one in their right mind would take a even the lowliest offering from a brand still acknowledged as “Standard of the World” and highlight how it was modestly priced or priced lower than competitors. It would be as jarring as seeing Mercedes advertise the S class on price, or Porsche do the same with the 911. Never going to happen. That was a great car. As far a parallel parking. I do what 90% of the folks do, start about 3 spaces back and pull forward until in a spot. I am not a NYC bump parker. On another note, I passed up on buying a 1970’s bright red with white interior Cadillac convertible when I worked for Benson Mercedes for a Volkswagen Rabbit. Still kick myself to this day on passing up on it, but Annapolis, MD was not the place to street park one of those monsters. Didn’t Don Draper drive something similar to this in Mad Men? As to the sheer size of these old tuna boats, they seem huge at first, but parked next to a modern day crew cab or an Escalade, they’re not really that huge. They look so much better though – the longer lower proportions of a big sedan are in short supply these days. They’re not all that bad to park either. The various 80’s Broughams I’ve driven over the years were much easier than most modern cars (well, modernish: pre-backup camera) to parallel park because you could actually see where the edges of the car were located given that nice angular body. Turn around, look over your shoulder, and way back there was the helpful top edge of a fin indicating the back-right corner of the car. Of course at night it was easy as well since the cornering lights would flood the area with the finest wash of 12 volt luminescence those old 1156 bulbs could offer. Now, it’s the rear-view cameras that don’t always work accurately.

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